I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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