It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
