But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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