Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
