i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
