I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
