Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
