Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Floor bacon is actually really good
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
