There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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