Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You took a bar mat shot.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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