I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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