yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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