I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
