you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
