Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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