if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
