Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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