That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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