i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
