I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
