Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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