Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
