READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
