i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
