im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
