those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
