Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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