Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize