her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
