Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
