I didn't shave. On purpose
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
