I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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