remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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