Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
