You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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