Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
