you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
