So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
