I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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