That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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