Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
