I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
