96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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