It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
