I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
