So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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