U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
