You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
