the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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