YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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