I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize