I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize