If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
