I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
