U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
