When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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