I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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