Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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