I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
