Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
