So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
People in love make me want to vomit
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
