will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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