Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
