Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
