it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
