I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Help. Why am I so naked?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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