She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
