He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Everyone says I win the strip club
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize