Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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