Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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