She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
