You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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