either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He passed out mid-signature
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
