4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
