Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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