Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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