no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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